


Too little too late

by ForgottenVice



Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén
Genre: Angst, Everybody is stubborn, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Reveal, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 11:03:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21160607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenVice/pseuds/ForgottenVice
Summary: Chen and Ortega know what you are now and the implications of that terrify you, the question now is what will they do about it?Sidestep gets hurt and their friends are there to fix them up.Retribution SpoilersA self indulgent writing exercise in second person POV, present tense and angst





	Too little too late

The room was dark and cool and unfamiliar. It wasn’t your apartment, or Eden’s or even the lair and waking up somewhere unfamiliar made you nervous. 

You shifted to get up and bit back a scream, Pain radiated up your side the moment you tried to move. Stopping mid roll, you let out a ragged breath, sweat beading at your forehead. Well that was never a good sign. 

Your aborted movement shifted the blanket covering you, it slipped revealing your nearly naked torso and the bandage covering your side stained with blood. That was new. 

The falling blanket also revealed the harsh orange of you tattoos, something that sent fear spiking through your mind. Someone must've seen them, someone knew. But who? Why did they patch you up? Were you back at the farm? 

No. You stopped the thought before the fear could crush you. 

Not the farm you weren’t hooked up to a dozen machines, and you weren’t in a hospital either, that was abundantly clear. If you had you guess you’d say you were in a rather sparsely decorated guest bedroom. 

You struggled to control your breathing, from pain or fear it was unclear but you had been compromised. It took a monumental effort to pull yourself into a sitting position and if you were to look down at your bandaged torso, you’d probably see the red stain blossoming. 

You made an effort steadily air and expelling it just like they had taught you at the farm. Your side ached, it felt too raw to be a cut, likely a bullet. You’d been shot before back when you were Sidestep and the wound had that familiar feel. 

You wracked your brain trying to remember what happened when the door creaks catching your attention. You can’t defend yourself right now you can barely sit up let alone stand and panic consumes your thoughts. Who is it? What do they know? Are they going to finish the job? They pain had dulled your senses but you reach out anyway, and a familiar mind brushes against yours. 

A familiar happy sympathetic mind. The calm washes over you almost instantly, too quickly really but you soft spot for Spoon has only grown over the past few weeks. 

You tried to lose yourself in the blissful, friendly, loyal and happy mind but it held an undertone of concern. It was an emotion that you didn’t usually associate with the greyhound and you couldn’t fully relax once you felt it. 

Not that you could relax right now anyway. 

He nudged his way through the door slowly with a small plushie gripped between his teeth. He tentatively padded towards you, easily hopping up next to you. You envied his agility as the movement sent another lance of pain shooting through you. You grit your teeth to endure the spasm and the presence of the Spoon’s mind calms you much more effectively that your breathing exercises. 

He gently places the toy; a stuffed seagull, on your lap and then follows by with his head. You suddenly understand the concern, he was worried about you. Dogs were so simple so genuine, so loving. The gesture was obvious and you found yourself petting him gently as tears gather at the corners of your eyes. 

Why couldn't you just have been a dog, rather than a re-gene. Life would have been so much simpler, trusting, loving without doubt, without secrets. There’d be no need to be a hero or villain you could just simply be. 

Maybe you’d be lucky and a happy family would adopt you, or a dog dad like Steel. You almost chuckle at the thought. No. With your luck you’d end up with someone like Ortega, more energy than sense. But if you were a dog... that probably wouldn’t be too bad. 

You pull yourself from your thoughts to look around the room once more. You must be in a basement suite there is a tiny sliver of a window higher up on the wall, something you could only squeeze through if you were desperate. Which you are, but the apparent bullet wound in your side made attempting escape a non-option. 

This must be Steel’s house, there would be no other reason for Spoon to be here. A revelation that brought up a whole other slew of questions. 

You didn’t want to think about that, all you wanted to do was sit here and enjoy Spoon’s company. But you know better. You wouldn’t have survived so long if you didn’t know better. 

Steel knew and he hadn’t sent you back to the farm, he hadn’t even taken you to the Rangers HQ. It was unlike him and you had to figure out why. 

Reaching out you found Chen but he wasn’t alone, with him was the familiar buzzing absence that you knew had to be Ortega. It was Just the two of them. That was interesting. 

You skirt the Edges of his mind expecting anger, hatred, or a smug sense of satisfaction but instead he feels … tired. 

An exhaustion laced with the same concern and worry that you had felt from Spoon. 

The hell? 

You needed to remember what had happened, who shot you? Why were you here? What did Steel and Ortega know? 

They must know what you are, someone had cleaned you up and attended your wound. They must have given you some sort of painkiller, you should be able to remember but your mind is too fuzzy to find any clarity. 

You’d gone to the park, to see Spoon, and obviously Chen. Your latest endeavors as Leviathan had become even more stressful and you’d come to rely on your time at the boneyard to settle your mind if not your conscious. 

Why Chen had ever agreed to these outings baffled you but you’d come to consider him almost a friend, at least you would if he wasn’t also your enemy, but this time Ortega was there too. 

He’d invited himself along. You can’t remember if he came with your or Chen but it was a classic Ortega move. 

It had been actually fairly amiable. Talking about the old days, watching the dogs run. It was almost comfortable, something you’ve never really experienced before. You had almost relaxed. 

But you could never really relax, not when you knew who they were talking to, that it was really Leviathan sitting there with the rangers none the wiser. 

Ortega Stood to leave, that’s when you felt it. It had almost been drowned out by the dogs but the spike of rage had been so concentrated and so volatile. You didn't have time to think just to act and you stood yourself stepping in front of Ricardo. That’s when the bullet hit you. 

All malice and pain, you couldn’t be sure if it was from you or them. You Lashed out with your mind singular in your focus. It was seconds that felt like hours, the emotions reminiscent of Heartbreak but different, weaker. The shooter had dropped and a seconds later everything had gone blissfully black. 

Shit 

Spoon whined; you had stopped petting him without realizing it. Unclenching your fist, you return to stroking his wiry fur, he felt like a life line, an anchor in the complicated storm you called your life. This was why you never got a dog, it made you weak. 

But here you were, anyway. Weak because of Spoon, because of Chen, because of Ortega. Because you need to do this, you need to be Leviathan but you can’t quite give up what you had as Sidestep, and what you’ve built since. 

Burying your face into Spoon you try to hold back the tears. The wound protesting the movement but you ignore it, you should hurt. You’ve made them hurt and you don’t deserve their concern, or their help. Not with what you’ve done, what you plan to do. What you need to do. 

Guess it doesn’t matter now they know at least half the truth... guess you’ll get what you deserve after all. 

You think about going upstairs and facing them but it was so much easier to get lost in the blissful ignorance of the dog’s mind. So that’s what you did, you weren’t ready to deal with this fallout, not just yet. 

That’s how Chen found you as curled up as much as your bandaged side would allow cuddling with Spoon. 

“I figured it would be best to let Spoon see you first.” 

His voice is gentle, cautious like he’s afraid you’ll spook. Which probably isn’t far off. A few months ago you wouldn’t have imagined him capable of such tenderness. 

It’s still hard to believe that you and Chen were friends. It had always been so tense between the two of you; like a cable just waiting to snap. How that evolved into the friendship you have now you still don’t quite understand. 

Being friends with Ortega made sense, he didn’t give you a choice. His bombastic attitude and refusal to let you shrink back into the shadows ensured you couldn’t avoid it. It was inevitable. 

Befriending Chen had felt like an effort. You had been so used to hurling insults back and forth for so long just talking with him had been so unusual. But you had tired of fighting and began biting back the acidic commentary that usually peppered your interactions. It seemed as if he had too. 

Spoon had helped, obviously. There was also the odd stray thought that Chen unknowingly sent your way. Even his ever-present suspicion had softened, to a more concerned suspicion. 

You’re sure all those thoughts have soured now. Now that he knows what you are. 

You, want to pull the covers tight, conceal yourself and hide the truth but you know it doesn’t matter anymore. Steel already knows and your fairly certain Ortega already knows. The damage is done you can’t hide from it anymore. 

“So.” you let the word hang in the air, the ball is in his court either the farm is already on their way or the rangers want something from you. It’s the only reason you can think for them keeping you alive. 

“So...” You prepare yourself to feel malice, anger or maybe even hatred radiating from him, but it’s not there. No hurt, no anger not even pity, just a blanket of exhaustion. That’s... not what you expected. 

“What happens now?” Your voice is small, quiet. Every ounce of confidence you earned as Eden and Leviathan is gone. You can’t look at him instead focusing on Spoon, it seems that the blood seeping through your bandage has managed to stain his fur and you grimace. 

You can’t help but sully everything you touch can you. 

“For starters we should stop the bleeding.” Apparently, Chen has noticed the spreading stain too. “Probably get you a new shirt.” he’s studiously avoiding what was blaringly obvious, the truth of what you are staring him in the face, and it brought a ball of bitter anger to lodge in your chest. 

You snap your head up to look at him. “What? So you can send me back to the farm clean and pretty.” 

His eyes widened then narrowed his voice hard. “Is that what you want.” 

“Since when did what I want ever matter.” The words felt bitter rolling of your tongue. It was probably the truth of them that made the taste so sour. 

“Since you’re a goddamn human being,” Ortega burst through the door making you jump. Of course he was listening, boundaries were never his forte. 

“Really? Cause I’m pretty sure I’m not.” That was sort of the fucking point. You wouldn’t have gone around hiding your skin, telling half-truths and dodging questions if you were. Wouldn’t have had to run, and give up everything you ever earned. 

“Bullshit! You’re as human as any of us, I know yo-” 

“Clearly not as well as you think you do.” The force with which you said is caused your injury to flare up but you needed the physical pain, it made the emotions hurt less. 

You stare him down and the look on his face made you feel as if you kicked a puppy. It was better this way wasn’t it? Make them hate you and there would be easier to crush them. But right now, if felt like there was a weight in your chest crushing you instead. 

“Look, we know you’re scared, but we’re not turning you in to anyone.” you feel a flash of anger from Chen but it’s not directed at you its directed at, the farm? Then the image hits you fast and the realization hits you faster. 

“You knew.” It wasn’t a question. This was why he was so dodgy about those fucking photos. 

“You what?” Ortega was looking at his Chen like he’d grown another head. You didn’t need to be able to cut through the static to know he was stunned. 

You were too, but you should have known better. Chen had told you about the autopsy photos and you knew he was hiding something about them, but you hadn’t pressed him on it. Sloppy. 

Chen crosses his arms defensively, “I wasn’t sure but I had my suspicions. 

“There is no way you could have seen this coming.” Chen shifted uncomfortably under Ortega’s accusation. “Even you aren’t that paranoid.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. Chen was that paranoid, but not the way Ortega thought. Too paranoid to believe the lie that was fed to him, too paranoid to let you stay dead, not without proof. 

You always knew he was too suspicious for his own good. 

Spoon was restless in your lap and let out a bark drawing the attention in the room back to you. 

“We should take a look at that dressing.” Chen was never very smooth at diverting conversation but it seemed to at least resolve the awkward silence. 

“I can handle it, but you should probably clean up Spoon.” you pick him up with a grimace in an attempt to hand him off to Chen, but as you do his paw steps directly on your stomach and the pain makes you scream dropping the poor dog causing another surge of pain to lance through you followed by a wave of nausea. 

Your focus narrows on nothing but breathing through the agony, each inhale inciting further spasms while every exhale dulled it just a little. It eventually subsided into a tolerable ache, which was when you notice the hand gripped in yours and the calm murmuring telling you to just breathe. 

It was easy to latch on to the voice, you had gotten so used to simply enduring alone. If you’d made it home, you’d have already jumped into Eden, and while that would’ve stopped the pain there was something about that voice deep and soothing. 

You had become so caught up in doing everything yourself you hadn’t considered anyone else would see you this vulnerable. Tears prick and the corner of your eyes as you gripped the hand in yours just a little harder. It didn’t give under the squeeze not like it should have, it took you another five breaths to realize it was Chen and not Ortega who you were holding on to. 

“Ortega is going to take the bandage off, is that okay?” Your breathing had slowed almost back to normal, and you catch Ricardo out the corner of your eye. He’s standing aside with a sort of first aid kit looking a little unsure. It was so strange to see a man so bereft of patience waiting for something. It took as second for you to realize it was for your consent. He’d never wanted that when deciding you were friends but now with you bleeding out it seemed to be a concern. 

The thought made you laugh, and you immediately regretted the chuckle. “Please tell me you at least removed the bullet.” was that your voice? So hoarse and strained it was hard to recognize. You tried to grin to punctuate the joke but by the looks you were getting it wasn’t working. 

“Will you let us help?” Ortega was looking at you and his gaze made you fidget. You know he wasn’t just referring to your injury. You glance back at Chen and who had a similar determined set to his jaw. 

Your first instinct is to deflect, make another joke but you can’t. You’ve been exposed and they are still offering. The gravity of it hits you and your face starts scrunching up involuntarily, tears falling in earnest. 

Maybe if the offer had come sooner... but it had hadn’t it? But it was different, they hadn’t known what they were offering then. Now they did and you had newer more dangerous secrets. If they knew you were Leviathan, they’d be far less forgiving. Even if they knew the why, you doubt they would understand. 

Especially after what you had done to them at the museum. 

A loud sob reverberated through you and you immediately regretted it muscles tensing and protesting around the stupid bullet wound. Your grip on Chen’s hand tightened and he returned it with a gentle deliberate squeeze. 

“At least let us help with that.” you couldn’t stop the sobs, and simply nodded. You could allow that at least, but no more. It already felt like too much. 

At your assent Ortega moved in slowly removing the tape and gauze that had been soaking through. He was trying to be gentle but you were still forced to clench your teeth as your grip on Chen’s hand tightened. It was good that you couldn’t actually crush the prosthetic because right now you felt like you were giving it your best shot. 

The pain sobers you and the tears dry up. Your face still feels puffy but each breath comes easier, even as you wince through Ortega’s ministrations. 

It doesn’t take long until curiosity gets the better of you and you look to see what Ortega is doing. It was hard to not try and stop him and do it yourself. That’s what you were used to, especially before heartbreak you’d usually pop some painkillers and stitch yourself together, having Eden made it a less arduous process but ultimately it was still just you. 

This felt strange, someone else's hands mopping up the blood and applying salve. Even looking at stitches that you hadn’t put there yourself felt like you were missing time, it reminded you of the farm, it made you want to panic. 

But as your heart rate increased you felt another squeeze of your hand and you diverted your attention back to Chen. These were not the cold clinical doctors that treated you while you were at the farm, these were your... dammit these were your friends. 

And you were going to destroy them. 

Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely adore dog Dad Steel but I also love the impulsive dumbass that is Ortega. So I decided to write about them both. This was just rattling around in my brain until I could get it all written down. it's mostly self indulgent angst.  
Fallen hero has been an obsession for a while now but I only just decided to try my hand at some fanfic for it. Maybe I'll dive in a bit deeper who knows.


End file.
